aka loving u actually made me worse
#LoveDevotion
you tell me what to do and i lose… i swallow down the anger with a pi… i count to five watching the fire… before pressing it down on my thig… my friends keep getting worried,
“be thankful to god for bringing y… god had no part in what i became o… he was a callous bystander, a watc… he watched me cry and then drowned… god watched me start wars and lose…
just puked up cookie batter; sending my love to illinois.
is it too late to admit i loved yo… even through it all? summers over, but i still feel it on my skin.
i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.
and if the doorbell scares you we can hide in your mom’s closet hand in hand i’ll try and be brave for us and if the man turns the corner
i’m dissecting you with a scalpel… i’m slapping you on the rack, reac… pulling out your intestines and di… doesn’t feel so good, does it?
i go from adoring to loathing at t… hi baby! oh, you forgot to do the… didn’t know you were a backstabbin… mistakes aren’t mistakes, that everyone makes.
i love breaking your heart. call me a sadist, i don’t particul… i’ll reel you back in like a trout…
i wasn’t really my mothers child, i was her idea of a child. but, unforgivingly, i wasn’t. i grew up like kudzu; over the lam… i went so far as to grow over the…
when the ash settles down and you… wild and dancing, you see blackeni… you see the ending of it all and i… the way it dances and beckons you… the way you wish it would.
i’m whispering “baby,” up to the n… relishing in the roll of the word… the hum of influence, consequence,… like a storm, like a burn, like an…
my bones scream to escape this ski… to tear through my flesh and force… then to let them dangle by their p… my teeth are too big to share this… and my tongue is too large to fit…
i let you watch me lose my goddamn… raging at the wallpaper and crying… i let you listen to the burning an… and the pop of a pill bottle openi… i let you feel the screaming apolo…
you hurt me so much, but i never h… i just hated you for telling me it…