winter triggers depressive episodes for me, for context.
#MentalIllnessMentalHealthWinter
you go to touch me, and i bite your soft, warm fingers… then when you’ve left, i cry because i’m cold.
i let you watch me lose my goddamn… raging at the wallpaper and crying… i let you listen to the burning an… and the pop of a pill bottle openi… i let you feel the screaming apolo…
i waited for the other shoe to dro… oh, it did. “i’m sorry,” i said, “for trying t… you smile and say, “i’m used to it… “you shouldn’t be.”
i like dogs that bark and girls wh… yelling boys and little kids under… trying to figure out what to call… and always picking out “bones” or… i love animals and lovers with sca…
i water the roses and i shear thei… because what is beauty without adm… what is anything at all if you can…
sit across from me, with no space in between. chest again chest, and our legs folded awkwardly. wrap your arms around my neck,
everything is muffled and clean wh… i have bathed in dust and soil, an… i lay on your cool kitchen tile an… a constant reminder that i’m here,… but now with me here there is mud…
i’m sitting in an old 2000s chevy with r&b music playing loud from t… my shoulders slipping out from und… and i’m either a sex symbol or something holy.
he’s full of tuesdays and peonies, and i’m made up of saturdays and b… so he says, forgive and forget, and i say, get high and throw dart… he’s got his arms open wide
we’re dogs at your door, but i’m a mutt and he’s a purebred… he wants the bed and i’ll take the… it’s whatever you want. i’ll be whatever you want.
when the ash settles down and you… wild and dancing, you see blackeni… you see the ending of it all and i… the way it dances and beckons you… the way you wish it would.
nobody knows how to love me right, and no one fucks me quite like i d… i’m just sittin’ here like a ragin… and no one wants me but they’ll ta… i’m foaming at the mouth like i tr…
you tell me what to do and i lose… i swallow down the anger with a pi… i count to five watching the fire… before pressing it down on my thig… my friends keep getting worried,
i don’t want to grow up but god, i can’t wait to get older…
god lives in a church. so, i’ve been breaking their stain… trying to figure out which one he’…