Girlhood
To: mom
My mothers soothing embrace is all I can remember
Even though I should remember all the silenced cries
Even though I should remember the flaming daggers going through my stomach every time I was told to eat less
Even though I should remember being left alone in that cold gloomy room
All I do remember is being you
Living under the constant expectation to be a good woman, a good mother, a good kid
I can see my reflection clearly in you
I can not stop wondering why?
Why were you like that?
You were not the mother I deserved
But you are after all
And I cry more than I laugh
I see myself in you
I can see you desperately searching for something long gone
I can see you roaming the endless night
I can see you loosing yourself
I can feel you looking for a motherly hug
Never to be found
Neither to be seen
After all I am you and you are me
