Oh darling Eric, why did you For my fond affection sue, And then with surgeons artful aid Transform yourself into a maid? So now in petticoats you go

On the tide you ride head high, Like a whale 'mid little fishes; I should envy you as I Help my wife to wash the dishes. Yet frock—coat and stove—pipe hat

I watched one day a parrot grey —'… “Cuckold!” he cried, until I sigh… Then balefully he looked at me, an… With sneering eye that seemed to p… So fierce, so bold, so grim, so co…

I pawned my sick wife’s wedding ri… To drink and make myself a beast. I got the most that it would bring… Of golden coins the very least. With stealth into her room I crep…

Alas! I see that thrushes three Are ravishing my old fig tree, In whose green shade I smoked my… And waited for the fruit to ripe; From green to purple softly swell

I wrote a poem to the moon But no one noticed it; Although I hoped that late or soo… Someone would praise a bit Its purity and grace forlone,

Because I love the soothing weed And am of sober type, I’d choose me for a friend in need A man who smokes a pipe. A cove who hasn’t much to say,

I’m just an ordinary chap Who comes home to his tea, And mostly I don’t care a rap What people think of me; I do my job and take my pay,

No, Bill, I’m not a—spooning out… (The cove be’ind the sandbags ain’… And though I strafes ‘em good and… I guess they’re mostly decent, jus… I guess they loves their 'omes and…

Enthusiastic was the crowd That hailed him with delight; The wine was bright, the laughter… And glorious the night. But when at dawn he drove away

I wonder ‘oo and wot ’e was, That 'Un I got so slick. I couldn’t see ‘is face because The night was ’ideous thick. I just made out among the black

I took the clock down from the she… “At eight,” said I, “I shoot myse… It lacked a minute of the hour, And as I waited all a—cower, A skinful of black, boding pain,

So easy 'tis to make a rhyme, That did the world but know it, Your coachman might Parnassus cli… Your butler be a poet. Then, oh, how charming it would be

Though I defy the howling horde As bloody—browed I smite, Back to the wall with shattered sw… When darkly dooms the night; Though hoarse they cheer as I go…