For You, Vincent
Rip Vincent Luka Dalton-Graves
I never knew you loved me, Vince,
I have been trying to piece it together since
that horrific, tragic night
when you ended your fight.
I tried everything I could to stop you,
crying and screaming until after two.
But you ended up taking the full bottle of pills,
thinking about it now gives me eerie chills.
I remember begging and pleading,
and the next night I was alone and bleeding.
You were dead.
You were the only one who understood the thoughts in my head.
I know the death of Derrick brought you so much pain,
he didn’t deserve to be bullet slain.
He was the older brother we both never had,
I miss both of you so fucking bad.
Vincent Luka Dalton-Graves, you were, are, my best friend,
but what made you bring your life to an end?
I remember when you took away the knife,
Luka, you were the one who saved my life.
But I was not there to save yours,
and I cannot help that when the tears pour.
We were there for one another when there was no one else around,
we kept each other safe and sound.
Remember when you ran away?
I didn’t stop crying for days.
When you came back you told me you found an open plain,
and remember when you promised to take me the next time it were to rain?
You left before you could.
And that is what I never understood.
Now I am writing a poem of the words I didn’t have the chance to say,
I hope that heaven is real so I can hug you again one day.
No matter what I write it won’t put my heart to rest,
Because out of anyone you knew me the very best.
No matter how hard I try no collaboration of words can tell,
the extremity of the solitude that I am dealing with in this hell.
My poem will never be enough,
just thinking about you is tough.
Luka, I love you more than anything,
happiness is the best thing you ever did bring
to me because you taught me how to love a boy,
you made me stop using them as toys.
I would never trade any of the time we got to share,
But this pain is getting hard to bare.
What haunts me is how you thought I would hate you,
what would make you think something like that would be true?
I do not hate you Luka Bug,
All I need is one of your hugs.
They’re magic, even Derrick said so,
That was when I let my emotions show.
When you left me, you took a piece of me,
being a better me was all you’d let me be.
Luka, I want you to know that I still care,
But I am also very scared.
Since you left I have had to face these demons alone,
and most of the demons I cause on my own.
I am very afraid and do not know where to go from here,
But know that I will always love you, dear.
I still need you, Please visit me in my dreams,
I’ll reminisce on thoughts of you walking along the streams.
Luka, I love you and I wish you could have stayed here.
But in heaven I will reunite with you dear.
(2013)
This is a poem to my best friend who did not make it 2014. I love you, Luka.
#DeathDepression #Friend #Love #Recovery #RipSuicide
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