If you loved me then
To the ghost of two summers ago
I haven’t seen you in months,
but I am left with your memory every night
I try to find you in strangers
they steal all of my sunshine from my hips
they turned my eyes into a tumbleweed stare
I try to let them suck your name out of my mouth
just so you’ll stop coming up in conversations
how do I tell someone that they are the ghost of a night that never happened with you?
Hands are still hands in the dark
but, I can never make their voice sound like yours no matter how many lights are off
it is always your eyes in their sockets
it is always you in those sheets
it is always you when they leave.
When I fell for you, I was a blind soldier, unarmed, in an unknown territory
fighting a war that I didn’t know the cause of
I still fought however
I would still fight now
If I thought you still wanted me too.
Old messages and the taste of your laugh are still embedded in my everyday life.
The thought that sticks with me the most is:
If you loved me then
really loved me
why can’t you love me now?
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