Hey, I have a secret! I have surrendered my heart to a man, something I swore never to do again but he is the exception.

I love him more than summer loves lazy days next to water or the night loves to watch fireflies mock the stars shining a little too bright. Our love like a time machine, every thought of him takes me back to where it all began. I see how he clumsily told me he loved me for the first time. He must have not realized that the eyes are worst than a southern gossip on Sunday afternoon. It holds no secrets of what your heart says and his eyes seemed to be the town crier that night. I applaude his efforts to hold it in but it was like his heart skipped a beat, jumped out of his chest and landed in my lap when he sighed, ”i love you”...

But after that moment I fast forward time and recount the moments that we cried over our reckless way of loving and praise our tears and put their stories in an alabaster box that I frequent when I forget how to love him.

Did I mention that I love him? Even when it hurts. In our catastrophes I can always hear our calm song, like a whisper in a storm. You block out the world just to hear it a little clearer. I listen. It sings of the ways that I love him and he loves me and our irrefutable future together. Mmm. There is no one like my man. And I know that he knows it. Eventhough his boyish tendencies drips from his lips like a mid sleep drool, I still see the man he is intended to be and how, perfectly it fits the mature me.

I have a secret. I have never written so many love poems in my life. Its like I have this reoccurring itch to expose our love so that I can prove to myself that its not all in my head. See I lay on my bed like an alter just before a breakthrough.Reminded of unspoken realized fairytales and horrors. I lay and remember and I cry. Mixed with joy and pain, I find God in our sheets drenched in intimacy, not of a sexual matter but of our silence. When our hearts louder than I’ve ever heard you yell, screams of our unconditional love for one another.

I always teased you about the way your laugh so deep and satisfying filled a room almost unnecessarily, but I never told you of the moments that I could have sworn you were here bc your laugh too crisp to ignore filled every inch of the inner workings of my heart. I thought you would think I was crazy, but I swear its not my fault its just the repercussions of having my ear to your heart.

I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I borrowed your smile when I question my anatomy and wonder if it takes less more muscles for me to frown. Maybe I am a little backwards always thinking forward and burdened by the future I see. Can I borrow your cool persona deflecting any suspicion of brokenness. Hide me from my tormenting thoughts with your affections. Love me with the wisdom and acceptance of the elderly. I want to grow old with you. Take turns counting the years we spent together, our struggles and triumphs. Just love me until eternity outgrows our love. And that will be enough for me.